Since 1950, there have been amalgamations of changes in the perceptions of people regarding education, career, self beliefs... Most of the countries have witnessed major changes... and even after entering the 21st century, there is still a lot more to change... In this era, when most of the countries have are democratic, still the ones who have to exercise it find it hard to do the same... or perhaps the lack of liberty of thoughts among masses is an unobserved obstacle... Whatever it may be, but it is definitely becoming a barrier for the future of any Nation and also of an individual as a nation can only grow when the citizens of that Nation is growing individually...
I was hearing something from many of my colleagues these days but I was ignoring it... They were telling me that perhaps I didn't notice it but Shubh (a very close friend of mine at the workplace) is going through a rough patch these days... I was ignoring this fact as I thought that he will himself tell me if there would be any issue but despite knowing him closely I didn't observe that he is also conservative like me...
For some days, I waited for him to address the issue by himself but to no avail... He didn't tell anything... So, I decided to ask him by myself...
ONE FINE DAY...
(At the office)
I was doing my work and was thinking to confront him regarding this... I saw him, and he was looking tensed, due to which he was getting irritated with work... I went up to him...
Me: Hi! What's going on?
He: (pretended to be fine) Hi! Everything is going good...
Me: Yeah! I can see that... you messing up with yourself for days, still everything is going good... Isn't it? Do you think that I am blind and can't see what's going around?
He: (prefers to be silent)
Me: Come on now!! Tell me what's happening? Do not hesitate please...
He: I even don't know what to say... I am ashamed of myself and my family... you know what, this happened a week ago... Shyam (younger brother of Shubh) tried to hang himself from the ceiling fan... I just speculated it and called out for him loudly... but when he did not respond, I was left with only one option, to break the door somehow... and after breaking it, when I entered the room I was shocked to see the set up he made to hang himself... He was standing on a chair and the rope was all around his neck... all of a sudden, I furiously asked him to come down... I was red in anger without even thinking why he even tried to do that... I slapped him and sent him to sleep with our father... When he left his room, I saw there was a letter lying on the corner table... It was addressed to mom and dad... I picked it up and started reading it... The letter read,
Neither I have any courage left to face this life, nor do I have any courage to speak to you people... I just have two things to say; firstly I want to thank you both from the bottom of my heart to give me a life and secondly, I am really sorry I can't sustain it anymore... so, I am left with only one option to finish it off... so that you people will not be ashamed of me anymore... I love you mom, dad, E.B (Initials given by Shyam to Shubh, he being the elder brother) very much and couldn't see you let down each day of my life... Hope, you people will understand me someday... I love you very much....
Yours lovingly,
Shyam...
I was in a state of shock.... and now I was getting it, why he tried to do so... it wasn't his mistake... after he completed his high school three years ago, it was us who compelled him to take medical stream because we wanted him to be a Doctor... Perhaps we did not wanted him to be a Doctor but we did want to upraise our image in the community... so, it was not his dream being followed, it was our selfishness, our hidden desires to rise among the community... to make ourselves feel superior from the rest... he was a child, he didn't even know what he wanted to pursue... but in spite of contrasting his interests, we forced him towards a future which was not for him, not for us even... because one of his cousins were taking medicine as a profession, we preferred to make Shyam stand in competition against him... but down the years what was not supposed to happen has happened... Now, although he had passed his intermediate but that too with very poor grades... he didn't manage to get admission into any of the good medical colleges... and if he will take admission into any of the disreputable college, our father will not allow him home... and if he get to know that he is not doing anything or even about his scores of intermediate exams, then also things will become worse... In our family, poor grades are considered as disrespect because of the belief which the parents have in the children...
Shyam was very tensed, I could see it but he would take such a step, I could never have imagined... he might be afraid because of this dilemma only, whether to tell dad or to secure admission just anywhere, or perhaps to study once again considering his own interests... but because of the generation gap, strictness and such high expectations, he might have impeded himself from sharing his feelings...
I remember, when he was studying, he used to wake me up in the middle of the nights asking me about the various questions he wasn't able to solve... but then also, I preferred my comfort over my duties leaving him all alone on himself to solve those questions which he would have tried almost countless number times with every attempt getting failed but I even killed his only ray of hope that his E.B will stand by him and solve his queries... How broken he would have felt at that moment... no one in our family was ready to treat him as a child, we forgot our onus towards him... we were treating him as only a heavy monetary return of the future which would also bring respect with itself... and now, he is nowhere in the competition... we burdened his soul with our expectations... and now I believe he is ashamed of himself... He mostly secludes himself and remains silent and alone...
And still our parents are not with him... still, mom blames him and hold him responsible for spoiling his own future... Abuses him with verbal comments in front of people... His self respect has been made to surrender among the crowd which hardly knows anything...
I am ashamed as I am also a part of it and am equally responsible for whatever has happened... He was not destined to be like this... In fact he was one of the brightest student but we brought the darkness in his life... I am also a culprit behind his condition...
Now tell me, are these the things to be discussed?
Me: hmm... definitely not... but you have to discuss these kinds of issues with the people you trust... because this is the only possible way to solve the issues...
He: I don't know how to get my brother back... back to us... and back to life...
Me: Look, whatever happened with Shyam is definitely very inhuman... but you people being the elders were instrumental in destroying his career and have also devastated his self respect to such an extent which can't be re-drawn easily.... but still, you are his family and he loves you all from his heart...his letter shows this only... just try to be with him and guide him with your experiences... provide him the needed love and attention for which he has always craved for... mentor him... contrast his interests, interact with him and most importantly guide him to get his self respect back..... Sit with your parents and tell them about the incident happened... counsel them about your brother's condition and ask them to co-operate because if he would not get support now, then it will be a regret for life... He desperately need you all... no matter what the people, what the relatives say, be around him and back him for whatever he chooses in future... stand beside him... Make him believe that you are always with him and make him believe in self...
Believe me, Shyam is like younger brother to me too... and I wish everything good for him... Moreover, don't waste much time... take leave for some days and spend some time with him...
He: yeah...!! I think this will make him happy... I should leave now... See you later...!!
Me: Bye..!!
And he left for his home, this time with a positive outlook towards Shyam and a vision to make his life worth living and with a dedication to bring him back the self respect in his own eyes and in the eyes of their parents as well...
I too left early to look after my younger sister... though I know I m being over protective and over caring towards her but this incident with Shyam made me realize how important it is to spend time with children, and especially teenagers... I now understand it more that how much attention and care children seek from their elders who in fact are really important for their growth... Most of the homes still witness this and this ember is still differentiating in many lives due to modernized lifestyles of the parents... the age gap being the other factors for the lack of interaction between the children and their parents... Moreover still most of the families depict to be broad minded but when it comes to their own children, liberalism is nowhere to be seen... I knew it but somewhere in my head I thought that democratic people are also liberal but this incident also cleared this fact that it needn't be necessary for a democratic person to be liberal as well...
I was about to reach home but still I was having the same thoughts about the people that may be its 21st century era, but still most of us are DEMOCRATIC, YET NOT LIBERAL....
