A Journey on Road- Part I

Since the childhood, most of the times we used to be prompted and asked by our parents to change our bad habits and grow as a human, otherwise in the house next door live a ghost who takes the children with him, or perhaps most of us must have also heard about that ugly old witch who uses her broom to fly down to places and take the children away with her... and we used to get horrified by those stories... but for obvious reasons, when we grew up we never ever believed them... and in fact many of us definitely have laughed up on the stories of spirits... whether we are a firm believer of theism or we are atheist, but when it comes to spirits, ghosts, and these type of illusionistic creatures we certainly never seems to be interested....
I too was like this until this day of my life when I began to believe up on everything which I can't see directly... this experience has changed me, and has changed my life...


I was posted to this department of office just recently and I wasn't much aware of the work and the atmosphere of this place... the only thing needed then was an experience of this place, as experience is something which has its own importance... but the kind of vibes I was getting from here weren't too good and weren't bad either... they were quiet strange, quiet weird... but I thought as long as I am dedicated towards my work, there isn't any stopping back for me which could hinder or become barriers in the path of my growth... but as we say, sometimes despite best of your efforts put in, destiny has its own choice...
So, I got a workplace besides which there was a vacant seat... I asked many of my colleagues about who sits there, but to no avail... many preferred not to speak regarding this... and whenever I tried to ask that same question again, I was welcomed with an infinite series of silence... and when you encounter such things, you tends to be more curious to know the reason for the unending smile and fluctuating behaviours of people.... same thing happened with me and I became more and more curious to know this... and still I tried asking this question from colleagues who was working here for a longer period of time, but nobody preferred to answer...
One day...I was waiting to get a loner time from a longer period in the office and my wish came true... this day most of the people left early and I was kind of alone at the office... I saw that empty chair and I certainly didn't know which driving force attracted me towards that empty chair and the emptiness surrounded by it... I went to the chair and sat on it... I switched on the system which was on that desk and tried to open the drawer... system didn't open up... and the drawer was somehow stuck in between the passage of it... I tried hard and it got opened... I saw a pearl chain with a heart pendant attached with it... It was going bizarrely mysterious... It was giving a feel which was making me indulge at such deep intensity that it was hard to resist thinking of the chain and the story which could have related to it... I restricted my soul from going deeper into it... It was influencing my imaginative powers and thoughts deeply... but thoughts didn't stop coming and the mind was constantly in the process of guessing and analysing the possible stories... Many days went by facing the same situations... and....
ONE FINE DAY...
I came early to the office and before the office could have begun with the work, entered a girl wearing the colour of peace... sober in her style and confident in her attitude... I was flattered and I am sure most of my colleagues would have been... I was standing near my desk when she walked straight and sat on the desk next to me... At that moment I was full of pride and was considering myself lucky enough that someone so adorable sat next to me... But, it was quite strange that nobody from the office came to introduce her... A lot of time got wasted in thinking how to initiate the interaction... but somehow I managed to hit it off with the conversation... somehow, my pen fell off the desk and it fell near to her chair, so I bent down to pick it up but she gave it to me before I could pick it...
Me: Thank you...
She: You are welcome...
Me: Hi... are you new here?
She: No... I have been working here for more than two years now... are you new here?
Me: Yes... I have been transferred here from the other branch... were you on a leave all these past days?
She: oh yes... I was having holidays for some days now and have joined back today itself... well, welcome to board... I am really happy that finally someone is there to accompany...
Me: (blush) (silence) accompany? C'mon, here you must have sat with other people also... aren't you? After all people are so good and helpful here...
She: (prefers to be silent) "everything which glitters as gold is not gold"... you will get to know about everyone here gradually... till that time don't form opinions regarding anyone... and by the way the desk on which you are seating is also mine...
(She seemed to be so disappointed and dejected as if she had faced something so bad here that it was hard for her to gulp it down...)
Me: okay... that means this pearl chain is yours? Is it?
She: Yes... It's mine... I was aware that you must be having it...
Me: how would you know it?
She: (smile) I was on holiday and that too for longer period of time... In between these days, no one could ever open that drawer... and now you are sitting on this desk and the desk's drawer is open... It indicates that you are the only one who can have its possession... and it seems you like it...
Me: yes... It is very good.... In fact I like the chain as well as the person behind it....
She: hmmm.... but still you don't know me more?
Me: this is the truth but we are going on a lunch together today... aren't we? I hope I will be getting a lot of chances to prove to you that each and every person or more precisely every other guy is not the same...
She: Lunch... No, not for lunch... let's see when we can go and where we can go...!!!
Throughout our interaction there was something mysterious which I couldn't figure out in her... but that was not all... her way of glancing at me while I was holding that chain was drawing suspicions in me... So, it happened for a couple of days and every time I tried to hold the chain, I found her staring at me like anything.... It seemed as if there was some sort of link between the chain and me but still she had been dissolving a lot more under herself.... Every time I held it, her eyes used to get bigger and facial expressions used to change rapidly... Like any other guy, I also took it very lightly and thought of it as a genuine behaviour...
As we leap ahead with the time in future, our interactions turned into meetings and meetings into the selfless bond called love... It was selfless for me... but how much it was on the other side was yet to be known... but living in present, I was happy with whatever happened in life at that point of time...
We used to leave at the same time for home after the office... all these past days, there was one more reason for me to get tensed... Whenever I used to go with her talking all the while with her, people used to stare at me as if I was talking to myself... these things used to hit me off so hardly that often I tried to confront some of them to ask the reason for this kind of their behaviour but as she used to be with me at that point of time then, so I had to drop the anger down often... And,
ONE FINE EVENING...
After the office, we were out there walking in the dark under the silence of the night... I had come on my car that day... walking down the aisle I asked to drop her home but she refused to come... When I forced her, she got agreed... I was happy to think that I will get to see her home and to know her even more closely... (I was waiting for this to happen, as I have also been warned by some of the other colleagues working at the office about my indifferent behaviour of talking with self and also I had heard people gossiping in the office premises about me... So it was necessary for me to know the truth)...
She sat next to me... I switched on the ignition of the car... We began to move... She was smiling and so does I... I asked her to tell the road to follow to reach her home... and then she said that she wants to go on a long drive in the starry night... She wished to see the night in the open... It gave a reflection of both the sides of coin... Where on one side were her innocence and our love and on the other were the people critical claims which were driving me crazy for some days... The only thing which was there hovering over my mind was if I have got the true partner for life or have I got the real lifelong disease to fight with... The answer was hard to find... but I was determined to know the answer in any conditions...
So, I just took the turn on a different side of the T-point which leaded to a long aisle of journey of life... A JOURNEY ON ROAD...


Would this road leads to a new begining... Would this dusk bring a fresh dawn or would it bring more darkness in life... !!! check out soon....

...TO BE CONTINUED...

 

DEMOCRATIC, YET NOT LIBERAL...

Since 1950, there have been amalgamations of changes in the perceptions of people regarding education, career, self beliefs... Most of the countries have witnessed major changes... and even after entering the 21^st century, there is still a lot more to change... In this era, when most of the countries have are democratic, still the ones who have to exercise it find it hard to do the same... or perhaps the lack of liberty of thoughts among masses is an unobserved obstacle... Whatever it may be, but it is definitely becoming a barrier for the future of any Nation and also of an individual as a nation can only grow when the citizens of that Nation is growing individually...


I was hearing something from many of my colleagues these days but I was ignoring it... They were telling me that perhaps I didn't notice it but Shubh (a very close friend of mine at the workplace) is going through a rough patch these days... I was ignoring this fact as I thought that he will himself tell me if there would be any issue but despite knowing him closely I didn't observe that he is also conservative like me...
For some days, I waited for him to address the issue by himself but to no avail... He didn't tell anything... So, I decided to ask him by myself... 

ONE FINE DAY...
(At the office)

I was doing my work and was thinking to confront him regarding this... I saw him, and he was looking tensed, due to which he was getting irritated with work... I went up to him...

Me: Hi! What's going on?
He: (pretended to be fine) Hi! Everything is going good...
Me: Yeah! I can see that... you messing up with yourself for days, still everything is going good... Isn't it? Do you think that I am blind and can't see what's going around? 
He: (prefers to be silent)
Me: Come on now!! Tell me what's happening? Do not hesitate please...
He: I even don't know what to say... I am ashamed of myself and my family... you know what, this happened a week ago... Shyam (younger brother of Shubh) tried to hang himself from the ceiling fan... I just speculated it and called out for him loudly... but when he did not respond, I was left with only one option, to break the door somehow... and after breaking it, when I entered the room I was shocked to see the set up he made to hang himself... He was standing on a chair and the rope was all around his neck... all of a sudden, I furiously asked him to come down... I was red in anger without even thinking why he even tried to do that... I slapped him and sent him to sleep with our father... When he left his room, I saw there was a letter lying on the corner table... It was addressed to mom and dad... I picked it up and started reading it... The letter read,

Neither I have any courage left to face this life, nor do I have any courage to speak to you people... I just have two things to say; firstly I want to thank you both from the bottom of my heart to give me a life and secondly, I am really sorry I can't sustain it anymore... so, I am left with only one option to finish it off... so that you people will not be ashamed of me anymore... I love you mom, dad, E.B (Initials given by Shyam to Shubh, he being the elder brother) very much and couldn't see you let down each day of my life... Hope, you people will understand me someday... I love you very much....
Yours lovingly,
Shyam...

I was in a state of shock.... and now I was getting it, why he tried to do so... it wasn't his mistake... after he completed his high school three years ago, it was us who compelled him to take medical stream because we wanted him to be a Doctor... Perhaps we did not wanted him to be a Doctor but we did want to upraise our image in the community... so, it was not his dream being followed, it was our selfishness, our hidden desires to rise among the community... to make ourselves feel superior from the rest... he was a child, he didn't even know what he wanted to pursue... but in spite of contrasting his interests, we forced him towards a future which was not for him, not for us even... because one of his cousins were taking medicine as a profession, we preferred to make Shyam stand in competition against him... but down the years what was not supposed to happen has happened... Now, although he had passed his intermediate but that too with very poor grades... he didn't manage to get admission into any of the good medical colleges... and if he will take admission into any of the disreputable college, our father will not allow him home... and if he get to know that he is not doing anything or even about his scores of intermediate exams, then also things will become worse... In our family, poor grades are considered as disrespect because of the belief which the parents have in the children... 

Shyam was very tensed, I could see it but he would take such a step, I could never have imagined... he might be afraid because of this dilemma only, whether to tell dad or to secure admission just anywhere, or perhaps to study once again considering his own interests... but because of the generation gap, strictness and such high expectations, he might have impeded himself from sharing his feelings...

I remember, when he was studying, he used to wake me up in the middle of the nights asking me about the various questions he wasn't able to solve... but then also, I preferred my comfort over my duties leaving him all alone on himself to solve those questions which he would have tried almost countless number times with every attempt getting failed but I even killed his only ray of hope that his E.B will stand by him and solve his queries... How broken he would have felt at that moment... no one in our family was ready to treat him as a child, we forgot our onus towards him... we were treating him as only a heavy monetary return of the future which would also bring respect with itself... and now, he is nowhere in the competition... we burdened his soul with our expectations... and now I believe he is ashamed of himself... He mostly secludes himself and remains silent and alone...

And still our parents are not with him... still, mom blames him and hold him responsible for spoiling his own future... Abuses him with verbal comments in front of people... His self respect has been made to surrender among the crowd which hardly knows anything...

I am ashamed as I am also a part of it and am equally responsible for whatever has happened... He was not destined to be like this... In fact he was one of the brightest student but we brought the darkness in his life... I am also a culprit behind his condition...

Now tell me, are these the things to be discussed?

Me: hmm... definitely not... but you have to discuss these kinds of issues with the people you trust... because this is the only possible way to solve the issues... 

He: I don't know how to get my brother back... back to us... and back to life...
Me: Look, whatever happened with Shyam is definitely very inhuman... but you people being the elders were instrumental in destroying his career and have also devastated his self respect to such an extent which can't be re-drawn easily.... but still, you are his family and he loves you all from his heart...his letter shows this only... just try to be with him and guide him with your experiences... provide him the needed love and attention for which he has always craved for... mentor him... contrast his interests, interact with him and most importantly guide him to get his self respect back..... Sit with your parents and tell them about the incident happened... counsel them about your brother's condition and ask them to co-operate because if he would not get support now, then it will be a regret for life... He desperately need you all... no matter what the people, what the relatives say, be around him and back him for whatever he chooses in future... stand beside him... Make him believe that you are always with him and make him believe in self...

Believe me, Shyam is like younger brother to me too... and I wish everything good for him... Moreover, don't waste much time... take leave for some days and spend some time with him... 

He: yeah...!! I think this will make him happy... I should leave now... See you later...!! 
Me: Bye..!!

And he left for his home, this time with a positive outlook towards Shyam and a vision to make his life worth living and with a dedication to bring him back the self respect in his own eyes and in the eyes of their parents as well... 

I too left early to look after my younger sister... though I know I m being over protective and over caring towards her but this incident with Shyam made me realize how important it is to spend time with children, and especially teenagers... I now understand it more that how much attention and care children seek from their elders who in fact are really important for their growth... Most of the homes still witness this and this ember is still differentiating in many lives due to modernized lifestyles of the parents... the age gap being the other factors for the lack of interaction between the children and their parents... Moreover still most of the families depict to be broad minded but when it comes to their own children, liberalism is nowhere to be seen... I knew it but somewhere in my head I thought that democratic people are also liberal but this incident also cleared this fact that it needn't be necessary for a democratic person to be liberal as well...

 I was about to reach home but still I was having the same thoughts about the people that may be its 21^st century era, but still most of us are DEMOCRATIC, YET NOT LIBERAL....

A Truth of Life

We have been told this often that in this materialistic world, each and every individual comes and goes on own... Everything from relationships to the different luxuries we have are the earthly pleasures... There is only one honest truth, the truth of life and death ... Everyone has to face it on their own... But still, there are lots of people around the globe, and all possessing different perceptions... Since there is one truth standing, one should experience joys out of these pleasures, because you never know what in the moment lies for you next...


It was just another morning when I was leaving for the office when I received a call from my colleague (also a friend) and I was stunned after listening to what he had to say:


Me: Good Morning brother! How are you?
He: I am fine... I wanted to talk something important & urgent... Let me know if it is the right time...
Me: Yeah! I mean can't we discuss it in office itself?
He: Yes, we can but it is sort of urgent.
Me: Okay! Please proceed. 
He: Do you know why Mira used to get silent on asking about her health?
(Mira and I were one of the closest friends since I joined this organization... We were very similar in our perceptions towards life and shared quite a lovely bond...She used to be a so vivacious person... We were so fond of each other that it was impossible for me to imagine life without her)
Me: I don't get you... what do you mean to say?
He: There is something that she is hiding... and I thought of letting you know since you are very close to her...
Me: Really?? Then what is it that she would be hiding? I don't see any need for doing this honestly...
He: You remember she went for a medical check up because of severe multiple disorders last year... and remained out of office for almost 3-4 days...
Me: Yes, I do remember it.... so what's the link between this and the thing which she is hiding?
He: I am coming to that point... she told us that the tests are to be conducted repeatedly for three months and the final report will be given almost after four months... when we inquired her about the reports after that period got over, she assured us that she is fine and the reports also proved it....
Me: Yeah... I remember it... and since last year she had not been absolutely fine... she is having one or another health problems since last year.... what happened? Tell me honestly, now I am really getting tensed... Is she fine?
He: I am afraid she isn't... Actually, the doctor from whom she took assistance is coincidentally our family doctor too and is also a very good friend of my father... yesterday he came home and was talking about one of his patient... he was telling him that sometimes being a doctor it is difficult even for him to deal with the conditions and he was really sad for the condition of one of his patient... I left the room at that moment but was extremely shocked when my father talked to me about this... He asked me to confirm the name of my colleague (he already knew Mira as she was one of the brightest employee in the office and she was mostly acknowledged in the house)... When I told that her name is Mira srivastava, he informed me about this sad news. He said, "I am really sorry to say this son, but your friend doesn't have a lot of time... As I have been told by our family doctor that he is treating one of his patient with leukemia, which is a type of a cancer and she is at the last stage of it... I am really sorry but have faith in God, he will take care of her"... Try to keep her as happy as you can. I too am in a complete state of shock after hearing this and do not know what to do now?
Me: (silent)........... (The thing which I couldn't imagine and can never thought of even actually became true, I was not ready for this and was thinking desperately about Mira and her family)
There are a lot of things which has been spoken about the relationships, the earthly pleasures; but when it comes to being with your closed ones; if it is a fact even, you never accept that you are not going to have that person for the rest of your lifetime... Even if you understand the reality, it just stays right inside of your heart and you try convincing it that things can change and you will not have to go through the trauma of loss of closed ones but a truth is a truth.... It's the truth of life and death.... He who comes must have to go at some point in life... they put it correctly, that may it come slow or may it come fast, but it is the death which will come at last....but whenever it comes to the person who is very close to your heart, no matter how strong and focused are you, you tends to lose the calm and fight with almost every possibility to see that person alive...
(Conversation continued)
He: are you there??
Me: (teary eyed)... Is it a truth??
He: Yes... You are not in a condition to talk right now, I am also disturbed even... would you be coming today?
Me: hmm...yes... have you talked to Mira?
He: Nopes... I don't have the courage to face her...come soon... I will be waiting for you...
Me: (gathered myself) Yes, I will reach soon...bye for now...
He: Bye...
(Call Disconnected)
There was a lot going through my head... How would I be able to talk? How will I ask her about all that... but I had to do it... thinking about this, I departed from home and reached office while thoughts of her were continuously gripping my heart... I entered, saw her sitting on her seat and lost completely into thoughts... I went to her and greeted but she didn't respond. She was so lost into thoughts that it seemed she was not present there... I could understand her state of mind and was feeling helpless inside but again I pretended to be happy like the rest of the days... I didn't want to let her know that I am aware of what she was going through... I spoke a bit louder and greeted her again....
Me: (louder) Good Morning! How are you?
She: oh! Good Morning! I am fine... Sorry, I was just thinking something... So, how are you?
Me: I am fine... what were you thinking so deeply? Is there anything serious?
She: Noah!! There's nothing serious (she just wanted to hide all her sorrows and wanted to see everyone happy) ... You seems to be pretty much tensed, am I correct? Is that so? (Being very close to each other we could understand each other's emotions but somehow her goodness overshadowed her troubles and I couldn't see her sufferings for long)
Me: (sigh) No, I am fine... there's nothing as such... so you seems to be quiet busy with work? (It was getting very difficult for me to talk to her then, as I was getting nervous and worried... just wanted to end the conversation at that moment)
She: yeah... a bit... need to complete this file today itself... (It seemed as if it was getting difficult for her as well to hide all those things from me, because since we knew each other we have stood by each other in every single phase)
Me: hmm... okay then... complete your work... I want to talk to you, so finish it up soon... don't forget, it's important...
She: yes... for sure...
Me: take care...
And I went to my seat and started working... but it seemed as if she was aware about the things for which I wanted to talk...


After two hours...


I stood up to see if Mira had completed her work.... but to my surprise, she wasn't on the seat... I quickly walked up to her desk to see if she is still there in the office... she was neither on the seat nor was her bag... I tried calling her but she disconnected... When I tried frequently, she switched off her phone... I was really worried as I couldn't talk to her... frustrated in disappointment, I saw an envelope lying on her desk... It was my name written over it... I realized Mira had left it for me.... I opened it and started reading it....

LETTER-

I am really sorry to leave without informing you especially when you wanted to talk... I know the reason behind that behavior of yours in the morning and got to know from my doctor that one of our colleague's father is his friend... he told me that he got surprised to know that his friend knew me... Now since, I know from where you got this information, It was difficult for me to speak to you regarding it... I didn't want to tell this to you because I know already how much you care for me.... and I didn't wanted to see you worried... I don't have strength to face you in this condition when you are aware of the truth... I just can't... I want to face this alone... although I know you are always with me, but still I want to face it on my own... I know there are lots of questions going on which you, want to ask me but I don't have their answers... I just want to say that you mean a lot to me and your position in my heart will always hold the same place... even in the solitude of multiple thoughts, your thoughts would keep my heart reserved... I am not sure how long will I be able to survive but remember one thing, I will always be there with you... and deep down the years, when you will have your kids just give them the same teachings as you used to give me... the things you used to make me understand, the same love which you have for everyone in this world... and also let them know that there is one of your friend who would have loved them so much... just never change for anyone in this world... be the same forever... your support always keeps me going and even in the times when we didn't talk to each other... I don't have more courage to say anything now, but I will gather myself to try to speak to you tomorrow... I am sorry if I have hurt you in any moment of your life and have left you teary eyed... I wish I could have more years to spend with you...

With loads of love,
Yours,
Mira

There were tears in my eyes and it led me to be in a state of depression... On one side she regarded me as someone who is so great for her, and on the other side she couldn't find the courage to tell the truth to the very same person... I was broken after feeling the love... She poured her heart out in that letter... and I was helpless to give her the desired heartbeats... I could never find such an affectionate person whole of my life... Wiped my silent yet loud tears and tried to call her again.... but the phone was switched off... I was shattered and feeling completely helpless... 

I left for home early that day... I was totally disturbed and wanted to calm myself...

Each and every passing moment was making me remember the beautiful moments spent with her and simultaneously making me more worried for her... I was a bit relieved when I received a message from her quoting "see you tomorrow"... It was like a ray of light in the darkness... but when I again tried to call her back, I found the phone to be switched off again.... but I got a bit relaxed after receiving the message and on thinking that I would be able to talk to her tomorrow... 

With these thoughts hovering my heart, I went to bed... As I was completely in split states of mind, I slept early...

I woke up early in the morning and left for office... I was waiting to talk to her... the keenness was surpassing the limits... but the wait was getting longer... She was so punctual that mostly she used to reach earliest.... but this day, all of the official staff had arrived but she was yet to come in... I thought she must have stuck in the traffic jam... but It was only a false satisfaction that I was giving to myself not knowing that this botheration will end soon... I was reading that letter again and I heard a my phone ringing... and I couldn't believe when I saw her name on the phone... I picked the phone up and started speaking without listening who was on the other side... it wasn't Mira, it was her cousin... and what he spoke was enough to bring my life to a standstill...

Conversation:

Me: Hey Mira, you don't know for how long I was waiting to talk to you... I read the letter.... I am really missing you.... I am waiting for you in the office since morning... please come soon...

(I got stopped in between by her friend)

He: I am really sorry if I am hurting your sentiments, Mira herself had asked me to inform you about this...
Me: Inform about what? I need to talk to her. Can you please her to call me back?
He: I am sorry to say but she is no more. She passed away in the morning. In her last breaths, all she asked us was to convey to you that she will always be with you... and she love you very much...

Me: What are you saying? She came to office yesterday... she wasn't looking that much in pain?
He: Yes... I know... but sorry to say, this is true... It happened all of a sudden... Her condition deteriorated in early morning... There are lots of rituals to be conducted... You may join us to adieu her a final time

(Call disconnected)

The news of the loss came as a shock... The biggest of my life... The wait turned out to be a wait forever... I was never this silent before. Loneliness enclosed my world with shades of sadness and with never fulfilling hope that somewhere down the lane she will still be waiting for me to talk to her....with all the tears rolling down the eyes, I was stripped of the happiness and was forced to hug the lifelong voids... and there wasn't much left to believe apart from the fact that there is one truth, "THE TRUTH OF LIFE AND DEATH" which is immortal....

















 

A Lonely Childhood

Childhood can’t be merely expressed in words.... It is an experience that each and every individual have in their lifetime, whether it is joyous or full of disappointments.... but as we say if there is someone to share, your sorrows can decrease..... But it is ironical that some children despite of having a loner childhood also face the hardships of life.....

 ONE FINE DAY.......

I was returning from the office and my family was not at home.... I had to manage the dinner on my own... So I thought it’s better to have dinner outside rather than to make on my own... I went to a nearby restaurant and saw it was not open.... As I was having a fetish for some spicy food that day so I went to a street food vendor to have some lip smacking food... to what I saw there it made me think again....

Although I knew that child labour is practiced but somewhere in the mind I started thinking that due to a lot of awareness these days throughout the world especially regarding this, that it will be in its deteriorating phase... But this too have another perception, sometimes children are not made to practice labour, in fact to earn a daily meal it becomes a necessity for them to work.... it is not right to always blame the person who have not necessarily compelled a child to work.... But if a child works, it definitely reflects the poverty of a nation and its helplessness to raise its children and to give them at least an adequate childhood...

After having the food I stayed there for some more time.... The only reason was to speak to the child working there... As he finished up serving other people, I called him.... Initially he wasn’t willing to come but when I asked again, he came to me.... I assured him that I had taken permission from his owner and now he can interact with me without bothering....

 And we began to converse....

Me: what’s your name?

He: ‘Raman’...

Me: such a nice name.... from where you have inherited this name? Your mother must have given you... Am I right?

He: No, I haven’t seen my mother... I m alone and brought up on the streets.... But I like reading a lot of books... So, I read somewhere about C.V Raman and want to be like him.... Therefore, I gave a name to self....

I was stunned with his answer... A kid who hadn’t seen his parents and works with a street food vendor knows about C.V Raman...

Me: so don’t you feel lonely without your parents or any person whom you can regard as your relative?

He: Initially I used to, but since I have started reading books, I have found everything in them...moreover all the relations are till an individual’s death but wisdom is something which lasts with an individual even after his/her death....

(I was touched with his thoughts of life)

Me: Its good...so how old are you?

He: I don’t know and perhaps I don’t care... you can assume me as a 12 year old boy....

Me: Do you go to school?

He: No... I don’t have enough money to afford school fee, but I like studying very much...

Me: So, how do you study?

He: The money I earn here, I spend all of it on purchasing books...

Me: And what about the food? You don’t eat anything...

He: The owner provides me with the meal...

Me: and where do you stay?

He: In this shop... after finishing the work, the owner locks me in the shop and then leaves for his home...

Me: so for how long are you working with him? Does he compel you to work with him?

He: no, not at all... in fact he is a very good human being.... he stood for me when I was alone, used to roam on the streets in search of food and shelter....Once I got unconscious and fell down... He saw me, took me to the doctor, and provided me food... Then I myself asked him if I can work with him...

Me: hmmm.... don’t you like to play any sport?

He: Yes, I do like... The thing is that I don’t get time for these activities.... but yes, whenever I get time, I play football with my street friends...

Me: So, do you want to work here for the rest of your life?

He: absolutely not... I told you, I want to be like C.V Raman... I m a firm believer of God and is waiting for a person who will guide me in being the same...

Me: Have you eaten something today?

He: yes, a piece of bread in the morning...

Me: just sit here for a while; I will get you something.....

 He was so undernourished that his skeleton was quiet visible on his skinny body... Its mere a coincidence that I get to talk to one of the abandoned kids but there must be so many other kids in the world who are going through the same phase and so many who already have died facing this and some who survived must have been facing the daily trauma.... It’s ironical that to whom we regard as the future of any nation suffers these conditions and don’t even get proper diet for days....

I went to his owner and asked him to provide food for the kid which he makes for the customers, and told him that I will pay for it... I took the food to the kid and resumed the conversation...

Me: hey Raman, this is for you...

He: thanks but I don’t need any favour...

Me: I respect your sentiments but it’s not a favour... today is my birthday... so I just like to give treat to people...

He: thank you for this....

 He began to eat the food... The smile he was having while eating that food was worth preserving... It seemed that he got what he was waiting for a long time... “A proper diet” perhaps.... He finished the food...

Me: did you like it?

He: yes, thanks again... and well I forgot to say, Happy birthday...!!

Me: oh thanks, so sweet of you.... now listen to me... If I will admit you to a school, will you like to study there?

He: see I don’t want any kind of monetary favour from any one... but as I told you can you be a guide to me?

(The kid was such high on his integrity that he didn’t even wanted a penny of help)

Me: I can definitely do it but for that also you need to go to the school...

He: but that certainly means I have to take your help monetarily... Is there a way out if I can pay for my own education?

Me: yes... but for that you have to give the scholarship exam... and for the exam you have to pay the fees... from where will you arrange the money?

He: I will arrange that... but I don’t know from where to buy the form?

Me: don’t worry about all that... I will manage all that stuff for you...

 And again the boy was smiling as he got the world full of happiness... he was excited to hear all which I told him and it seemed that he started imagining all of his dreams... and I was happy to see him realising his dreams....

He: sir, I don’t have words to thank you... I was waiting for a guide... didn’t know that I will get one soon...

Me: don’t need to thank... I am happy to help you... just take it (I gave my cell phone no. to him)... and I will come to you tomorrow... now it’s so late and you go to sleep now... your owner is also going... and if you find any problem, just call me on that number... just go now...

He: (with a smile on face) thank you again....

 And he went to his shop... I too left the place with happiness in my heart so as I will be instrumental in someone’s life... but on the same hand I was feeling how a life can be without a family, without your parents and most importantly without a proper meal of a day... when you don’t have a roof on your head and a path to follow how can you lead your childhood and imagine of a brighter future... this seems pretty easy to be tackled but in the real world, it’s only ‘A LONELY CHILDHOOD’...

A Night with Earthquake

With the beginning of 21st century the world had witnessed so many of natural calamities like volcanic eruptions, major cyclones, tsunamis, and on the top of the list EARTHQUAKES....

 India itself witnessed an Earthquake in Bhuj, Gujarat with the starting of new millennium....which devastated the life of so many people that they are still trying to recover from it....

The human race wasn't have recovered from it yet and another Earthquake stroked in the last month of 2004.... The epicentre was in Sumatra, Indonesia....It was so high on Richter scale that due to the strong tremors inside the earth, it gave rise to Tsunami in Indian ocean which swept millions of lives across southern India and neighbouring countries.....everything was scattered......so many died, so many lost....

Life as we knew it ended for many....

7 years down the memory lane, when I remember those deadly waves of Tsunami, I get horrified all over again and the fear of losing my near ones grips me....but what has to happen has to happen.... no one has any control over it..... one can just pray to the almighty for the well being of everyone....but it doesn't ends here....Mother nature can have other plans..... The plans with which no one will be aware of ever..... One can only regret after the consequences.....

ANOTHER DAY OF LIFE.....

 It was a beautiful morning....It seemed the sun was embracing the clouds with its sunbeams reaching to every corner of the world.... The chirruping of the birds was so melodious that the heart was constantly humming songs with them.... The mighty winds were touching the hair as if they were flowing with a joy, a joy which they needed to share..... After realising the beauty of everything, I realised one more thing.....I was getting late for the office.....and one more thing echoed in my head, the heavy and cruel voice of my boss....."again got late"......however he is not so cruel but still a boss is your senior, you mostly have to agree to him....but then if you are good to someone, that someone will only reflect goodness......without wasting much of my time I left for office.....

I reached....There was something special in the air today, everyone was glowing as if there was nothing but happiness all across their lives....and as we say if the environment is good, your heart never distracts..... With this thought I went up to my desk and indulged in the work....and I got so busy that when the hands of clock hit 1pm, I didn't notice..... One of my friends asked me are you fine??

"I am absolutely fine, what happened?” said I....

Friend: no you seem to be pretty busy with work...

(Till the moment he came, I was done with the work)

Me: yeah....I had been asked by Boss to complete this project for him and he will add me in board of directors of the organisation....

Friend: oh really!!! Congrats brother.... or let me put it this way, congrats sir....

Me: thanks brother...no need to be formal....I am always your mate....

Friend: hmmm....so have you noticed the time??

Me: no...It is 1pm...Oh....I didn't notice....Its lunch time...let's go....

Friend: yeah sure, today is a treat from your side....

Me: treat (smiled)....hmmm....okay....

and we left for the canteen....when we came back, we got surprised.....Boss was standing there as if he was waiting to tell something....we got there, and wished him hello sir, how are you?

Boss: yeah, I am fine....Hope u people are done with your lunch....

Me: yes, definitely sir....

Friend: what happened sir? Is everything fine?

Boss: No (a bit louder).....I am here to tell all of you something....

Everyone got frightened initially, and so were we as what was the thing that he is going to say, we really didn’t have any clue of that; he continued........but once he finished there were smiles on the faces of everyone....he granted us holiday for the rest half of the day and it was the last working day of the week....It really feels great pleasure to be granted a holiday by your Boss itself.....It was such a memorable day.....we all left from the office very happily in a mood to enjoy the extended weekend....

Was reaching nearer to home and there in a deserted ground I saw a young girl who was playing with her doll in the shed of the sun.... By looking at her I remembered the childhood of my sister....and stopped right there to relive it again for a while.....with a smile on her face she was telling her doll, “You are my closest friend, I will miss you so much when you will go away with your husband.... you know, I m getting yourself married to the king of dreams....he will come on a white royal horse, and will take you to the dreamland where there will be no one other than you, him and fairies to take care of you both..... I will really miss you”.... there were tears in her eyes and it seemed as if  she was waiting to let her speak.....though I wanted to condole her, I stopped myself again to see her next perspective.... after a while, when she gathered herself she again spoke, “I know you will not speak.... I know you too are crying....” it was so touching and the moment was really emotional....there were tears in my eyes to see such innocence.....

 After witnessing this, I departed for home and reached there.....

My mother was sitting on the sofa and as usual was indulged in surfing T.V channels.....sometimes I got irritated with this habit of hers but as it was such beautiful day, my perspective changed regarding her....she was looking as cute as that girl who was playing with her doll.....it is rightly said, kids and aged people are all alike....I went up to her and pulled her cheeks.....as usual she again got angry, yelled at me, and yet again I was smiling....sometimes she behave with such cuteness that your heart craves to do crazy stuff and irritate her...not just to harass her, but to see  lively emotions on her face....she looks so satisfied when she shower her love in form of anger on me....and I am satisfied to see her this way........I sat down next to her.....

She: how you are here so early? Resigned from the job....

Me: didn’t resign (something was running in my mind to irritate her again)....

She: so what happened exactly?

Me: something serious....

She: (getting louder) so will you please tell me what has happened if you consider me your mother.....

Me: (smiling inside the heart) hmmm....yes, I consider you my mother....

She: oh! How obliged I am after hearing this....thank you for considering me your mother

(Sarcastically)...now will you please shower your kindness upon me to tell how you are here so early?

Me: nothing mom, boss gave us all a half day leave....that’s why I am here so early....

She: (suspicious) are you telling me the truth?

Me: yes mamma....you know something, I love you so much (never said this to my parents but deep down in my heart I have always craved to see them happy, to make them proud, but this time couldn’t stop myself by saying this to her)

She: (confused) what have you said??

Me: I said, I love you mamma....

She: so finally you realised.....

Me: aaaaarghhhh.... (Mixed emotions) yes I have realised....

 Still she was looking so cute by constantly looking at me....

Me: now what happened to you? Why are you staring me?

She: you know something, I too love you so much son....

I felt so happy that I hugged her so tightly and brought her favourite snacks from the market....she was having it with so much appreciation, my eyes again got filled with tears.....

The day was such a beautiful day but still gave me so many reasons to have tears, but tears of happiness....

But something which begun with beauty need not necessarily end with it....and this was proven that night.....

So many of my friends called me up to tell how amazing their day passed and I told them the same....everyone was indeed happy today.....but we didn’t know till what time does it going to remain.....

Meanwhile,

My mother, sister and I were talking to each other about our past and was having such a decent interaction that we don’t have often....because of our busy schedules we are generally unable to give each other proper time.... I remain busy with office, sister with her studies and mum with T.V and her tensions......

While we were interacting, I heard someone screaming....before I could analyse it I myself got the shock when I realised that the surface below us was shivering...It was an EARTHQUAKE....I told my mom and sister to rush down the ladders and exit from home....and hopefully this time, they did the same without arguing.... I picked a water bottle with me, rushed down the ladders and exited from home....I found my family waiting for me....rest of the colony members came down too....we all rushed to an open area....to the same deserted ground where that girl was playing......

Till this day we all used to think about the victims who have faced this horrifying situation when you have to leave your house on God’s faith which took years to convert in home....and about those people whose family members die after getting stuck in their respective homes....

It was such hard situation to have been dealt of....but when you will disturb Mother Nature, you will have to be ready for the changes....the speed with which the growth is taking place throughout the world, it is taking place in compensation of destruction of the environment.....

It is a fact of science that each and everything needs to be in equilibrium, and if it doesn’t it will automatically find ways to be in it....and when Nature itself find its ways, nothing remain in our hands....

All we were doing is doing is to pray to the almighty to let everyone live happily without any sorrow.....all of a sudden, a sound made us nearly deaf....when we observed, it was an old building near the colony which fell down due to the tremors.....we were shouting, screaming and was totally fearful....and I again got shocked when I saw that little girl near me holding her doll close to her....she asked me, “why are you getting afraid?”

Me: I am not getting afraid (didn’t want her to feel unsafe)....

She: I am really frightened because last time something like this happened I lost my parents and since then I am living in this ground but after seeing so many people here, I am really worried will they allow me to live in this place?

I was totally in a state of shock as then I thought that she was just another girl who was playing with her doll....didn’t realise the reason of hers to play in the shed of sun...

Me: Are u staying alone here?

She: yes...!!

Me: don’t you fear from these things?

She: no, my parents used to tell me whatever has to happen have to happen....just pray to God for best and be prepared for worst....

I was touched with her childish yet mature behaviour.....

Me: your parents are right.... They (all colony members) are here to pray to God with you as you are a child, and God loves children....so God listens to the voice of children sooner than he listens to the voice of anyone else....that’s why they are here....

She: oh! Then I will really pray to God that whatever is happening should stop so that everyone can live happily....and so does my best friend will pray.....

It is rightly said children have honest hearts, so the almighty listens to them sooner than he listens to any other person....

And finally the tremors stopped.....!!!

All our prayers showed results....but now we feared to go into our homes.... we were not having any more power to fight anything of that sort again......but where there is a will, there is a way....people again disturbed God, remembered him again and then enter their homes....

I told my family to go to our home and check if everything is fine.....and told them I will be coming in a minute....they too left the ground.....now the girl and I were alone in the ground....I thanked her for praying to God....

She: I too want to thank you for saving me and allowed me to live here....

Again I left teary eyed....

Me: It would have been a big problem living in an open ground....

She: It is but I don’t have any option....

Me: you do have... I will be giving you a home and a school....

She: I don’t want any favours....My parents always used to teach me, don’t take help from strangers....

I was again smiling at her innocence....

Me: Its neither a favour nor I am a stranger....You have helped me so much in saving so many lives by praying to God....so if you would have been a stranger I myself wouldn’t have taken help from you....Moreover, I am not giving you any favour.... like you have helped me, I too want to help you a bit...Am I correct?

She: hmmm.... (Don’t wanted to admit it but was confused whether she helped me or not)

Me: Don’t think so much.... In return I will be seeing the wedding of your best friend and you will have to give me a treat...

She happily agreed and I after wishing her a good night, came back home.....my family was there to welcome me again....I asked them to sleep...its too late, said I....

I too went on to bed and remembered each and everything which happened that day....the tears of happiness and sadness I had that day....the fear of losing my close ones which gripped me....this day will always be memorable...... to everyone not because we undergone various emotions of life but because we all survived “A NIGHT WITH EARTHQUAKE”

"A KISS OF DREAMS"

Last night....



Was really frustrated with the kind of things happening in my life....just kept thinking and thinking, but nothing stroked the mind and heart was hovering over the extremities of happiness and disappointment....there was a dullness in the atmosphere as it seemed so bleak and silent.....a silence which could have brought more and more unavoidable problems and which might have brought the excitement of getting someone in life....for whom there was a secret void in my life....a void which remained unfulfilled through out...but which now is blossoming to be filled....


I just didn't know what was going to happen next.....


there was so much tension in the head to cope up with the present and to make the future better, to a level which no one has ever touched.....to create a benchmark which will become an example for others....as it is said, ‘yesterday is gone, you don't have any control on it but tomorrow will only be better when you will change your destiny today'...

like this there were lots and lots of thoughts in the mind which the heart wanted to share, but there never was someone to share....with all these things in mind my eyes got heavy and I laid on the bed....



ON THE BED, OFF TO DREAMS........



within moments I slept, I was awake and at a place which cannot be defined in mere words....a world which I never saw, or even have thought of....a land which was unimaginable by humans.....it was full of greenery in the hub of various masterpieces of architecture.....initially, I really got surprised and thought how could I have reached this place....but the aura of that place was surpassing my head that I forgot the tensions and problems of life and without wasting more time, I decided to travel the same world.....

I took my first step ahead and left out for a journey of a lifetime in that world which I hardly knew....

Moving on, all of a sudden a voice is heard; still remember that.....it was as soothing as the notes of a flute, which said "which place is this?"?

I got stunned as when I left that place there was no one around....without thinking more, I just turned back and saw there was a girl standing right in front of me.....at the very first moment, I thought I was observing an angel from heaven, but she spoke again and then I realised that she is a human too.....but my words got swallowed up and I got lost in her....suddenly she spoke with a loud voice and broke the jinx....then I replied, I am sorry....I was thinking something else.... then,


She: which place is this?

Me: I don't know, I am also new here....

She: new...r u serious??

Me: yeah....well, honestly speaking I was sleeping on my bed, and when my eyes got opened I was here...

She: please don't make stories.....

Me: this is not a story, I m saying this honestly....

She: so where should we go now??

Me: we??? Are you coming with me??

She: yes.... I m a girl...and I should be safe....staying here alone will only bring problems...

Me: so do you think you will be safe with me??

She: yes, I trust u...

Me: (in my mind) how can she trust me like this....there is definitely something she is hiding from me...

Me: (in my mind) but on the other hand, at least someone trusts me...

She: what are you thinking??

Me: nothing...let's go!!!



And we started the journey.....




While walking on the road, we hit off interaction with each other....I was really impressed with her voice quality....and she got impressed with my honesty....


Me: so how many members are there in your family?

She: two...

Me: and which includes?

She: me and my younger brother...

Me: what about your parents?

She: they died in an accident when I was 6 year old...

Me: I am really sorry...I didn't want to hurt you....

She: It’s ok..... (After a pause) (Sigh)....so who comprises your family....??

Me: Me, my mother, and my younger sister....

She: what about your father?

Me: he died two years back....

She: oh, I am really sorry...

Me: that’s ok...



She was looking like someone who has faced so much in life.....but yet standing like a fighter....

We went on and on, and shared our lives with each other....she told me the hardships she had faced in her life, in bringing herself and her brother up....

It seemed that time had yet again made someone bigger than life.... someone who can influence no one but can inspire almost everyone...and I wondered that I was having the world’s most difficult moments in my life.... It seemed as if she was someone who is like me, facing her problems alone..... I was getting deeply interested in her thoughts...

Also I realised that whoever gets a life of a human, has his/her share of grief and sorrows... “One who stands out is someone who has the ability to sustain”...

And it seemed she was getting interested in my thoughts too....

Walking down the pedestrian bridge which was made on the beautiful river, we realized that it took us so long...we knew the day is done, and the night has come... stars were shining so brightly in the sky as it seemed that they were gathering to see us both.... the glow of the moon was so mesmeric that our eyes were not getting off from it...there was a melodious sound of river which was flowing beneath the bridge.... the weather was so illusionistic which I cannot forget in my lifetime....
After observing every beautiful thing, she called me up in the middle of bridge from where the city could easily be seen....she asked me to close my eyes....and then to open them gently and view in front of the bridge.... when I saw in front, it was heaven in front of my eyes.... it was our real world from where we came... and was looking like a dreamland... we could even see our families which were very happy and no sufferings were there.... we both got really excited to see this but we didn’t know where we were and perhaps didn’t know how to get back there....the only thing we could do was to feel the happiness among our families....and we did that only.....we both got really comfortable with each other....



Now, we were at the stage where we got really close by sharing our grief and sorrows....we both were looking at each other...and she again in her soothing voice called me close to her.... I didn’t knew what she was up to but I went close to her...she whispered in my ear, have you ever loved someone?

I replied, yes of course.... I love my family so much...she said even I too love my family very much....but have you ever been in love with a girl?

I smiled and said not in the past but I am indeed falling in love with someone...

She blushed...and asked who the luckiest girl is??

To which I responded, lucky is not the girl but I m indeed lucky to find her....

And I want to capture this moment of love with her in the testimony of this beautiful night, these stars, the moon, and everything present at the moment...

She replied, so what are you waiting for??

She came forward to me and hugged me tightly and the moment was sealed with a ‘kiss’ of love...a kiss which can never happen again, and which had never happened before...it seemed the whole universe was rejoicing after witnessing a “A KISS OF DREAMS”....













After this I woke up by hearing the sound of my alarm clock...and I realised that I was seeing a dream....and I forgot every little tension and problem of mine because a lot happened that night....may not be in the reality but for me it is something more than reality which I can never forget .... “A KISS OF DREAMS”....